What I Did Over the Summer

I can’t believe school starts next week. And I can’t believe my baby starts Kindergarten. I’ve known this day was coming for some time. And I’m really excited about it. But we just had such a fantastic summer, the time has flown by.

We went to Cincinnati Ohio for my first ever conference, to Chicago to visit a friend eat hot dogs and swim at a beach, Indianapolis to visit the children’s museum, and to the local pool more times than I can count. My youngest had his very best friend over to say goodbye before he, the friend, moved across the country. We had a sleep over with the nieces. We went to see Toy Story 3, Last Airbender, and they went to see Sorcerer’s apprentice last weekend. I visited my home town twice and ate at the pizza place where my husband I met both times (which is a lot for me seeing as I don’t make it back to my home town at all some years). Oh, and I submitted my first ever completed novel. That was just last week though so I’m not expecting to hear anything back anytime soon.

Yeah, it’s been a fun summer, but I think I’m ready for school. I think I’m ready to have a quiet house. And I think I’m ready for my baby to be a Kindergartener J

Beautiful vs. Sexy

So, on Facebook, I’ve seen several posts lately that’ve made me stop and think. They start out with something along the lines of: Look for a man who finds you beautiful not sexy. Then they go on into a list of actions or qualities that make a man the ‘perfect’ type man. And every time I read one I have the same question. What makes beautiful better than sexy?

My first reaction was that sexy, being more of a physical attribute, somehow objectifies the woman. But, as I thought about it more, I realized that there are thousands of things that people find sexy that have nothing to do with appearance. Like I love to watch sci-fi and sports. Some men find that sexy in a female, but it has nothing to do what I look like. So why is sexy wrong?

Now, I don’t usually obsess over silly Facebook posts, but as I kept seeing this message repeated and rephrased it kept digging at me. So I started going through examples of what I’d find ‘sexy’ and what would be ‘beautiful’. And the main difference between the words I came up with is that ‘sexy’, to me, implies some level of arousal where as ‘beauty’ doesn’t necessarily.

Men on motorcycles are sexy. A dress hanging in the store is beautiful. A verse from a poetry book is beautiful. Tattoos are sexy. But that only left me more confused. Why wouldn’t you want your mate to find you arousing? I’m not sure I’ll ever have this one figured out. Maybe you can help me to understand. Why should I wait for a guy who calls me beautiful instead of falling for one who finds me sexy?

Karma and Answered Prayers

My mother always told me to be careful with my prayers. Some things, she'd tell me, can only be given through work and sacrifice. Like patience. It can't be given. It can only be strengthened by working through trials that test it. I knew she was right. And I'd pray anyway. 'Cause I really need to work on my patience. And, as I think any of my writer friends can attest to, I fell into a line of work that's giving me plenty of trials and tests to strengthen that virtue :)

I think the same can be said about Karma. I'm a firm believer that you reap what you sow in life. Not only that, but that you find what you're looking for. The trick is knowing what you're asking from the universe. Just because you tell yourself you want a peaceful life, doesn't mean that's what you're actions are telling the cosmos you desire. And sometimes, just as with patience, some things can't just be given, they have to be worked for.

I used peace because that's what I'm searching for. What I realized this week was I wasn't really working for it. There are certain people in my life that I allow to bait me. But I didn't realize this was a problem because I rarely ever rose to the bait. I'd just ignore their taunts. Or, at least, I'd ignore them publicly. In my heart, I'd still let them dig at me. I was giving the illusion of peace without really living it.

I'm not sure how you get past the sting of an insult. I'm not sure how you really truly let some comments go. I mean, I know intellectually that you accept some people aren't going to like you and don't give their words weight. It's the emotional aspect I'm having a hard time with. I'd like to think this post is the first step. Knowing I have to let go of the anger and resentment if I'm going to find peace. Something tells me meditation and limited time with those who are baiting will be the second. The third? I'm not sure yet. Hopefully it'll come to me when I'm ready for it.

I'm Guest Blogging

Hey everyone. I'm over at Leah's house today. If you want to come visit (and enter to win a copy of Dragonborne) here's the link: http://leahbraemel.blogspot.com/2010/05/chandra-ryans-taking-leap-of-faith.html

Catching Up

I'm going to be on Leah Braemel's blog tomorrow talking about leaps of faith and giving away a copy of Dragonborne. I hope you can stop by. I'll add a link first thing in the morning. In the mean time, if you want to read the blurb or an excerpt to Dragonborne, I have them here. It was also reviewed by Long and Short reviews today. I'm very happy they liked it and hope my next story will indeed be a novel :)

Also one of my friends, Robyn Bachar, had her novel, Blood, Smoke and Mirrors, released by Samhain today! Huge congrats to her. It sounds fantastic and I've been really looking forward to reading it. Wanna know more? http://www.mybookstoreandmore.com/blood-smoke-mirrors-p-5601.html

Hope it's sunny where ever you are today :)

And the Winner is...Sonya!

Congratulations Sonya. I'm e-mailing you the pdf of Dragonborne. Hope you enjoy it :)

I’m Not a Virgin Anymore

That’s right, I’ve been screwed by pirates for the very first time. And, I’ve got to say, it’s not so pleasant. No, this isn’t one of the countless lecturey blogs out there. I know you guys aren’t stealing and I love you for it. This is something else…it’s a contest! I'm giving away a .pdf copy of Dragonborne (<--click on Dragonborne for the blurb). Just post “I want Dragonborne for free” somewhere on the net with a link back to this blog post (could be tweeted or facebooked or worked into your blog) and let me know where it is either in the comments section (with an e-mail address so I can contact you if you win) or e-mail me at Chandra @ ChandraRyan . com. Make sure you remove the spaces in the e-mail account if you e-mail me.

As to the pirates—I’ll send them a take down notice. But I’m not going to stress over it. I’m a firm believer of karma and I can’t believe their lives are very fantastic with as many people as their fraking over.

The contest is open until midnight central time April 30^th so you have a couple days.

Hope it’s bright and shiny where ever you are today…it is here :)

Me, Only So Much Better.

A couple days ago, I passed a major milestone with Dragonborne. I returned my edits to my editor. Yay! No, I’m not done with edits, I just returned a round of them. And I know knowing more edits are on the way should be a downer, but it isn’t. Here’s the thing, I don’t mind edits. I actually kind of like them. Why?

First, because I know the editor liked the story, that’s why they agreed to pick it up. So I never take anything they say personally. I realize my work isn’t perfect, that I get too close to see where it needs fixed, and I really don’t want to look like an idiot when the story is released. So I appreciate the time and energy my editors put into my work.

Second, because some of the mistakes I make are funny as hell and I’ve never had a problem laughing at myself. If you’ve chatted with me on-line (or in person) I’ve probably told you some of these, but I can’t resist repeating myself. They’re just too good. So here goes, some of my best typos:

Instead of imitate, I once used immolate, which means to kill as a sacrifice. I’m sure my hero would not have approved of the heroine immolating his mount. It probably would have pissed him off, but it made my writers group laugh hysterically.

Instead of bowl, I once used bowel. Not that I’m terribly prissy or anything, but I do believe soup tastes better when eaten from a bowl. Just saying.

Instead of vile creature, I once used vial creature. Any dragon that could actually fit in a vial would probably not be much of a threat. Sophie would argue that one with me. But she just likes to argue.

Instead of stairs, I once used stars. Try climbing those sometime.

Instead of dining, I (more than) once used dinning. I’m not even sure what dinning is, or what a dinning room would encompass, which is sad seeing as I look it up every time my writers group calls me on it.

So there you have ‘em, some of my best typos. Oh, and one of my most common mistakes…Clinch does not mean the same thing as Clench. I think I have that one down now. I’ve actually started doing word searches in my works for Clinch, because I hardly ever mean that one.

Hope you’re all having a great week!

Interview At Believing is Seeing

Today I’m being interviewed at Believing is Seeing. Please come by and say hi to me. If you leave a comment with your name and e-mail address, you’ll be entered to win a download of Ink in the Blood.

http://sandrasookoo.wordpress.com/

And The Winner Is...

Stacey who loves fried chicken!

You can e-mail me at Chandra@ChandraRyan.com to tell me what format you'd like the download in and give me an address to ship the swag :)

If you didn't win and would like another shot at getting Ink in the Blood for free, I'm going to be interviewed and guest blogging at a couple spots this week and next. I'll announce them in the Current Happenings section of my website www.ChandraRyan.com

Thanks, everyone for entering. I had a lot of fun talking food :)

Chandra

Eeeks!

The cover for Ink in the Blood is in the Clash of the Covers over at Embrace the Shadows blog this week. And it’s going up against two other gorgeous covers, one of which is from Larissa Ione’s newest book, Ecstasy Unveiled. She’s one of my all time favorite authors. If you haven’t read her, I highly recommend you giving her work a chance. It’s dark and edgy and just fantastically written. Actually, I have the Embrace the Shadows blog to thank for introducing me to her stories. I won Desire Unchained, the second book in her Demonica series, from them by commenting on a blog entry about a year ago, and I fell in love with the series.

Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I have Embrace the Shadows to thank for many of the authors I’ve started reading over the past year. I guess that’s one of the reasons I’m so excited about being in the clash this week. Another reason I’m excited? The Clash of the Covers has always been my favorite part of the blog. Don’t get me wrong, I love the interviews and the guest blogs, but I really look forward to the clash every week, and I can’t remember the last time I missed one.

If you’d like to check out the Clash of the Covers here’s a link to the blog.

Is it really Monday?

It is? That means one week from today Ink will be available to buy and download—Yay! To celebrate I’m starting a contest today. On March 1st I’m going to give away a download of Ink in the Blood and a bag of Ink swag (pictured on the right side of this post) to someone. All you have to do to enter is post your favorite food in the comments section of this blog entry before Midnight central time on Feb 28th. Then, on March 1st, I’ll randomly choose a comment and post the winners name. So make sure you check back on March 1st to see if you’ve won. I’ll try to post the winner as early as possible.

I’m going to get the ball rolling. My favorite food is cheesecake. I can’t resist the stuff. Once, my husband and I got a cheesecake for our anniversary. We both had a piece for dessert and then put it away for the night. The next day he went off to work and I snacked on a half a piece for breakfast, a half a piece for a mid-morning snack, a half a piece for lunch…well, I think you can see where this is going. When he came home, I was horribly sick. It didn’t take him long to figure out why. He went into the fridge and saw I’d eaten half the cheesecake. After that, I wasn’t able to look at cheesecake for a year or so, but I’m all better now.

Now it’s your turn. Are you a sweets kind of person, savory? What’s the food you can’t resist?

My Website Has Been Redesigned…

And that makes me happy! My original site was serviceable, and all the links worked, but it wasn't dynamic. It was actually a hassle to update, which is why it was never updated. It also wasn’t very polished, in my opinion. So my husband did a complete redesign for me. Isn’t he great?

I have to say, I love the site. I love the colors and the pictures and the excerpt link that has the book cover on it. But the thing I love the most, most people will never see. My husband, knowing I’m not the most computer savvy person, designed a custom content management program just for me. It’s so cool. I have a table for my news, my works, and my links. Whenever I want to update, I just open the program, edit it, and then FTP into my site and upload the new info. It’s so cool and I'm very grateful for it.

In other news, Ink is being release a week from Monday. Yay! In celebration I’m going to be having a contest. It’ll start tomorrow and will run to release day, so check back on the blog tomorrow to get all the details. In the mean time, if you have a moment and want to check out the new site, you can either click on this link, or click on Ink's cover in the side bar.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Community

My husband came home a couple months ago and told me that a friend of a friend was an erotic writer. My response, “Really, what’s her name?” Let’s face it it’s a relatively small community and, although I don’t write erotic (because it takes a very good writer to write erotic and I’m just not there yet) I do read it and I know several people who write it. And if I didn’t know her, chances were I knew someone who knew someone that did. Six degrees and all that.

He told me her name, and I didn’t recognize it.

“Well,” he said, “I think she’d just starting out and my friend made it seem like she didn’t really know many people. My friend was actually wondering if she could pass along your name and e-mail to her. I told her it’d be fine.”

I loved that he didn’t have to ask, that he already knew the answer. Of course it was fine. It was better than fine. After all, the community I’d discovered had become my favorite aspect of the writing journey. Yes, the first contract I was offered was great, and getting to see covers with my name on them had been indescribable, but none of that would have happened without the guidance and support I’d received from the other authors I’d met along the way.

“She seemed to think her friend thought other authors didn’t help each other out very often. That it was very competitive.”

That statement saddened me because it’s simply not true. I mean, I'm sure there’s competition when an anthology call goes out, and yes there’s always the hope I’ll make the cut at a certain house, but I’d do whatever I could to help out another author and when I tell them I’m cheering for them and wish them good luck, I honestly mean it. And I think the other authors I’ve met along the way feel the same.

Yes, I want contracts, but I want to earn them because my story’s the best, or because it resonated with an editor, not because there weren’t enough submissions to fill a quota. And when I’m rejected it stings, but I know I was rejected because my story wasn’t good enough, not because other authors had submitted works. I settle in to make it better and then resubmit it elsewhere. It’s one of the ways I work at becoming a better writer.

The exchange made me thankful for the community I'd discovered and reminded me to be grateful for all the help I'd been given. So, huge thank yous to Barbara Hancock-whose amazingly supportive words and deeds are too many to list, Nicole Dennis-who’s read my work and given me priceless feedback, My writers group, which includes Robyn Bachar and Ghostsnapper,- who forced me to sit down and write my first sex scene, Suzanne Rock-who’s shown up at blogs and events and cheered me on, Moira Rogers (both of you) for your kind words and repeat tweets, Cora Zane-for your encouragement (especially back in the days when I was Neoindra), E-love-for your unfaltering support, Aubrie Dionne-for coming to visit me at my blog and for the offers of reviewing my work, Sandra Sookoo for your wonderful words about my cover and offering me a guest spot on your blog, and well, I think you get the idea. I don't honestly think I could thank everyone who's touched me over the last two years, and I think that says more than this whole blog does. There are no words to express how much I appreciate everyone’s support and guidance as I stumble along this journey.

BTW she never e-mailed me. That saddened me, too. It’s my sincerest hope that she’ll find a community she’s comfortable with and that it helps her on her journey, as I would be lost without mine.

A Day of Extraordinarily Good News!

Yesterday was just a super fantastic day. It started out with the cover of Dragonborne being posted on Samhain’s website! Which meant I could share. Yay.

Then I downloaded the finalized version of Ink in the Blood to my Sony so I could read it while waiting at the doctor’s appointment. Double yay.

And finally, for the win, we got the letter from the college that said my husband has officially graduated.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that days like that don’t come around too often, so I did everything I could to bask in the glow of happiness and soak in the all-is-right with the world feeling. And to help continue the basking, here's the link to my excerpt from Ink, which is being released in just over a month! The last line is one of my favorites from the story. It’s actually the reason I chose this as the excerpt. Hope you enjoy the story clip and are having a fantastic day of your own.

I Can Breathe Again! (This time for realz)

I’m always amazed at level I take something for granted until I’m suddenly unable to do it. Once I pulled a muscle in my neck and literally couldn’t pick my head up off the pillow. I remember lying in bed thinking of how easy it should be and trying to force my muscles to move, but nothing. It was like I’d suddenly forgotten how to blink. Something that should be automatic was now impossible. Fortunately, some muscle relaxers, pain pills, and good old fashioned rest got me through it, but it was a feeling I never quite forgot. And one I got to experience all over again last month.

I’ve always had mild breathing issues, but nothing my rescue inhaler couldn’t take care of. That is, until early December. We still aren’t sure what happened, but I noticed I was taking my inhaler way too often and it wasn’t helping. So I made a doctors appointment. After all, breathing is rather important. Since then I’ve had two prescriptions for oral steroids (no fun), at least three follow up appointments (the last one is hopefully today), chest x-rays, and an appointment with a pulmonologist (who prescribed Advair). And finally, after about a month and a half, I can breathe again! Sure, while I was on the oral steroids I could breathe, but I didn’t feel like myself. I was very meh about everything and always felt tired. Then after two days of being off of them I couldn’t breathe again, so I’m not counting those days :).

I don’t believe there’s a great moral lesson learned in this post. True, I still take a deep breath every once in awhile just to marvel at how easy it is, but I know that will fade into the background after a couple weeks. Really, I can’t be expected to appreciate every blink that happens without issue, can I? But today I am very happy, so I wanted to share.